Friday, April 2, 2010

three's a crowd....

So today was actually great! I joined some friends from school for an afternoon in the sun enjoying moijitos, sangreia, and empanadas. It was so nice out today, it was great to have off and enjoy the sun and just....relax and hang out with friends for a cocktail afternoon.

And happened. You know how you go out with a group of friends and somewhere along the line you end up sitting with a couple and everyone else leave. Ugh. Depending on who it can be ackward. And it was. Then in my head I began to think about how I wish I had that person there with me. Someone to hold and cuddle with. Someone

Then thoughts begin to run through your head about yourself and what is wrong with you. Is there anyone for you? I associate this to my weight. I don't know how much of that is true, but it seems that way to me. I begin to think about how big do I look? How big do I look? Am I unlovable? It's so depressing to think about. It's even depressing to think about thinking about it.

Then I think about how I have lost a couple pounds this week. This diet is back on track. I still have yet to incorporate exercise into the program. I have been busy this week so I have been missing some meals. I know, not at all the healthy thing to do, but it really wasn't on purpose. Trust me, I really love food.

Sunday is Easter and I can't wait to go visit home. My grandmother is in the hospital so I am going to see her. Don't worry, she will be okay. My mom is picking me up tomorrow and we are driving back to Philadelphia Sunday night. She is staying over then leaving for work in Atlantic City early in the morning. I am glad my mom is coming to visit for the night. I really do love spending time with her. We are like best friends. Yes, my mom and I are best friends. She is the anchor in my life. When I start to feel low she brings me back up.


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